There is a principle in recovery – the first, actually – which says that we must be able to admit our powerlessness before we can even begin to seek any kind of change. We must come to the realization that our lives are unmanageable.
In other words, we’ve lost control.
That’s hard for some of us to surrender to. It’s been hard for me. I’ve spent my whole life trying to get everything under control, and now I’m learning that I have give it up?!
Really, control is an illusion. We don’t have control over anything, except ourselves, and even that only comes through the help and power of the Holy Spirit. Everything else in the known world is solely under God’s control. My husband, my children, the events of my day and my life.
That feels scary sometimes. But acceptance is the first step to change. And since I want to experience the fullness of God’s promised freedom, I’ve begun the process of surrendering my illusion of control.
So, in the spirit of surrender – in order to cooperate with this “I am letting go of control” thing, I gave in and said yes to a new dog! I figured if there is one sure way to introduce a new level of powerlessness, it’s a puppy!
Cooper, as we call him, is challenging my desire and tendency to control daily. Hourly, actually. But as I watch him with my kids, and my kids with him, I am slowly beginning to appreciate the freedom within powerlessness, and learning to laugh at the messy moments and rant over the frustrating ones and then chalk it up to life and move on.
I posted this under the Merry Medicine category because losing control is an exercise in lightening up, for me anyway. Our house is crazier now than it was before, and I am learning to trust the One Who is in control of all things that pertain to me and us.
May you, too, learn to let go of the illusion of control, and discover the freedom to live and laugh and trust that it’s all in His good and very capable hands!
She Dances Over Graves 