Day 20 of 30 Days of Breakthrough

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Today’s story comes from a woman I admire very much. The life in her is contagious, and she makes me want to be a better, more loving mother because of the way I see her love her own daughters. Although her story includes the pain of her own failures, she carries a zeal for life and sense of adventure that just won’t quit. Failure, from what I can tell, has only made her better.

She is intentional about sharing her life and her love with the children all around her, showing them the beauty and generosity of the God she has come to know. In her presence, they taste the sweetness of God, not the failure of bitterness which I’m sure her heart was once marked by. It is hard for me to imagine the life she describes, because I didn’t know her then. And all I know now is a bubbly, committed, thriving, and beautiful woman who brings joy and light with her wherever she goes.

I hope her testimony will encourage you to trust that no failure is permanent, and that God works His best and most beautiful things in the middle of our deepest messes. I pray your hope will be renewed, and that you will draw near to, rather than keep running from God with your failures. We all have them, and this is a powerful reminder that God is not put off by them. In fact, He draws all the more near when we think we don’t deserve it, seeking to restore our hearts and lives, if we will let Him…Because we can’t earn a love like His. We just get to say yes, and step into a life and relationship that brings healing and wraps us in faithfulness.

May this story make you hungry for such a reality!

“My Name is Veronica, and this is my Resurrection story…

I grew up in the typical “broken home,” with the single mom struggling to make ends meet and trying to find comfort and security in adult relationships, and an alcoholic father who loved and adored me but wasn’t a good father figure by far.I also had a brother who was absent most of the time, getting into his own mischief. That being said, you could probably guess what I was doing while growing up. I also found comfort in all the wrong things, and felt very much alone, insecure, impure and lost. Like every girl, my dream was to get married and live happily ever after. In my mind I thought that would make me whole.

I was about 23 years old when I gave my heart to the Lord. One would think that is an early enough age to clean up your act and live the rest of your life redeemed, holy and acceptable to the Lord…an early enough age to start fresh again – error free – and grab hold of the life God called us to have. Well, it didn’t quite work out like that for me. I was already stuck between a rock and hard place at that age. A had a baby girl from a man I was in love with who was incarcerated, and I was pregnant from a man I was going to marry because I wanted to do the “right thing.”

Because I was now a Christian, I thought I knew what I was doing; yet for years I still struggled in my own thoughts, emotions, and failures of not having a healthy relationship. By age 27, I was divorced with 3 kids, and trying to forget the skeletons of my past, but I was also making new ones to shove in the closet. Nonetheless I was still faithfully going to church, learning scripture and trying to move forward as a Christian, trying to not let the new skeletons define who I was in Christ. I was trying to do the right thing for me and my kids, and trying not to make the same mistakes my parents had made. So I kept pushing and trying. Do you hear all the “I’s” in this?

The storm finally seized and things started to get easier for a while as I was finding peace solely in God alone, and in my kids. God provided for me and blessed me in so many things. But that didn’t last long. I was relying too much on my own strength, and one day – years later – the distraction of the flesh came back to turn my world upside down one more time. I was tempted to continue the relationship with my firstborn’s father, the man I fell in love with when I was 19. I truly felt and believed I belonged to him and, although he was not fit to be a husband, I gave in to my flesh. I loved him more than anything and this time I wasn’t going to give up on him so easily because I know he loved me too. For 7 years I compromised my relationship with the Lord to have a relationship with this man, and then one day he suddenly died of a brain aneurysm. Here I was, now empty and grieved beyond measure in my sorrow and brokenness. I was angry and confused, and all my failures came back again to haunt me. I felt robbed and not worthy of anything or anyone. I was exactly where Satan wanted me. 

Eventually, not by my own broken will, I crawled back to church. And here all the scriptures came rolling back once more to save me. Things begun to make sense again. 1 John 5:14 reminded me that God will answer our prayers as long as it’s “His will” for us. Sometimes we try to do things on our own, trying to make something happen that we want, but it’s not God’s plan for our life.

I began to realize that God allows us to go through tragedies and pain in our lives only to get us to the place where He has called us to be. Realizing this is when my re-resurrection began. He had to strip me of everything so that I could surrender everything I had left to him. Then I proclaimed, “Not my will but His will be done in my life. I laid down at the altar all my hopes and dreams. His plans for me are greater than mine will ever be!”

Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.

For me to be alone was the only way God could have my full attention, so I could have a more intimate

relationship with Him. I am a living testimony of Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Things have ended up working out fine, and I’m okay. Will I always miss him? Yes. Will I see him again? Yes! But in the end, what I really want other women to know is that, if we are going through a tragedy or even if we feel like we have failed in lifethat if we seek God will all of our heart, God can and will heal us! God will redeem us, and give us back more than we have lost! He will make us whole again right where we are! Most importantly I want other women to know that, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5.

It’s okay to let go and trust God!”

{Photo images courtesy of http://www.pixabay.com}

 


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